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I think we all should acknowledge that this does not work.  Sword rattling and bloviating are wasted energy.  I threatened my kids with violence for years to no avail.  Granted, my kids were born with a vicious sense of humor and a go-for-the-jugular instinct.  All my ravings were met with skepticism and giggles.

Me:  If you poke your sister one more time, I’m gonna poke you into next week.

Kid:  I’ll watch TV until you catch up. (Guffaws)

It was useless.  Wasted energy.  The more effective route was of course one of unabashed bribery. 

Me:   I’ll pay you 10 bucks if you just please stop talking for three minutes.

Kid:  Make it 15.  (Snickering)

Yes, you may wring your hands and murmur about the corrosive nature of corruption.  But let’s talk results.  Ball your fists and bully someone into a reluctant action may be a short-term fix but they will resent you and actively work to undermine you.  At least I would.  So why not try bribery?

A bottle of wine for instance. 

Try this next time you need something done – approach the disinclined participant, outline the goal…and toss in a bottle of a delicious Cabernet franc to sweeten the deal.  You get results, they earn your gratitude and an excellent pairing for that roast chicken tonight. 

Everybody wins. No threats.  No violence.  Imagine that.

When my husband and I first became part of this lovely community in France, we wanted to give back a bit like we do in the US.  Our neighbor is involved with a local nonprofit that does a lot of great work in the community supporting families and we decided to make a small donation.

Now, you have to understand that France, and Europe in general, does not have the “giving culture” that we do in the US.  You don’t see endless fundraisers for schools, public radio stations or civic groups.  There are a lot of available government grants for non-profits as well as an extensive social safety net in France so calls for supplemental help are rare.  Which is nice really – excellent healthcare, good education system, nutritious foods.  These are good things.

So, we gave a modest amount the first year and they were very appreciative.  Last year they asked us for a bit more so they could rent a bus and take about 20 families on a beach vacation.  They explained that most of these local families had 1) never taken a vacation and 2) had never seen the ocean.  They had received a good-sized grant from the government, but they wanted to hire a large coach to make logistics easier. And more fun. Imagine that – government funding for low income families to go on an affordable family vacation together. What could be more wonderful???

Later they invited us to a small celebration and showed us a very entertaining slide show with highlights of their trip.  It was delightful.  As one would expect, as soon as the kids hit the beach there were shrieks of joy, sand went everywhere and ice cream ensued.  It’s good to know that beach bliss is some sort of genetic muscle memory that we all have.

What does this have to do with wine?  Not much really.  Except that it’s about community.  Engaging with your neighbors, sharing the good, the bad and the sticky.  It’s soul-nourishing.  And wine can be that as well.  Raise a glass to a memory.  Share a meal.  Any and all tools we have at our disposal to bring people together in joy, grace and mutual understanding should be deployed immediately and indiscriminately.  Toute suite.